You Can't text a Heroin Addict into Sobriety
- akennedyruns11
- Jan 13, 2018
- 2 min read
“We all mess up. Each moment is new. I love you Sam. I want you to behave as though you do care, even when you don’t. Fuck authenticity. You need to act like you care about your life, even when you don’t. The behavior brings the feeling. Not the other way around. Fake it until you make it. Please.”
This is the text I just sent my 18 year old heroin addict. This is the way things are right now. Me trying to convince him to stay sober and alive even though he is at an all time low. This is real time, it is raw and it sucks. I promised to be honest and upfront through the journey, and here it is.
Sam is trying to get to work after he messed up scheduling a ride, I am trying to send a few “don’t bail on me now texts” before I go teach a couple of yoga classes. I now know why parents of living heroin addicts don’t actually speak publicly, something that interested me at one point. It is because there is no peace and you never know when the next shoe is going to drop or the next bomb is going to blow. I am reminded this week how vulnerable he is. I am. We are.
It has been a tough week for both of us. He is at another precipice and only he decides where he will land. I am just the crazy-ass cheerleader on the sidelines that he is oblivious to.
And for re-posting actual profanity that was initially private between Sam and I. I thought is was an important part of the story. I apologize to both of his Grandmas as well as Rev J.W.
Where there is life, there is hope. Love you. #nomoreshame
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