Where Has All the Money Gone?

Apr 19, 2017, 10:55 AM

The financial burden of treatment for addiction can be staggering. We always think that we would do anything to save our kid's life, no matter what, but sometimes that is easier said than done. Sam's dad and I have three other kids, two are still minors. One may need more surgeries (he has had five because of a birth defect). Both probably need braces. I know that eventually we both would also like to help our oldest with some things that we missed along the way.

As I have said, this is Sam's fifth treatment. Rehab is obviously not a cure all. At what point does a parent draw the line? Is it fair to tell another child in the family that you cannot get them braces or glasses or even help just a little bit with college because you spent all your money on rehab for their brother? And, God forbid, what if another kid has an addiction issue as well? We would like to think that the siblings of our addict would be repelled by drugs and alcohol. Sometimes this is the case, sometimes it is not.

Addiction often runs in families. At Cornerstone, there are several families with more than one kid in the program. Can we afford to spend every dime on one child? Can we afford to spend our entire retirement on one issue? This is an issue every family with a kid who is an addict is facing. This cycle can be endless. It's not like a tonsillectomy. Boom, it's out. There is no certainty. I am sure that every family who has gotten tapped out and stopped treatment and then lost their child wonders if one more treatment would have held the magic.

I don't know what the answer is. I am very fortunate that I just closed on my first home (as a single person) last month. I can only imagine the financial storm that is about to be unleashed. I am sure that within a very short amount of time I would no longer qualify for a loan. I will take it though. Sam is in treatment, he is currently safe, and we will pay our portions as quickly as we can. We have it better than many.

Often, families only get the opportunity pay legal and funeral bills when their child has gotten to the point Sam is at. They would give anything for medical bills. If Sam hadn't gotten into the system on an emergent basis this time, I don't think we could have prepaid what we would have had to in order to send him to another treatment. There were no current plans to put him back into treatment at the time of his OD. I guess we got lucky in that way. The hospitals and facilities will have to be patient, but they will get paid.

Today, I am so grateful that Sam has been given another chance at recovery and life. Finding balance with his siblings is difficult but necessary. As parents, we need to support our addict the best we can but we have to recognize the limits of what we can do. We need to be just as committed to the health and well being of our other kids. It's easy to get so busy trying to save one that we don't recognize the others need us just as much.

Where there is life, there is hope. Thank you for reading. Love you. #nomoreshame