The Devil is Back
- akennedyruns11
- Jan 29, 2018
- 1 min read
My beautiful boy. Heroin is the fucking Devil. Sam's dad walked in on him shooting up this morning. I have no words and we haven't even started processing this yet. I would be honored if prayers, thoughts,and positive energy could be sent our way.
I feel like I am slowly and surely losing this war that I absolutely cannot afford to lose. I am completely powerless. My love cannot save my son. The words I speak and write mean nothing to him. I had just asked him if he was high on Thursday when I took him for lunch because he looked like hell. He assured me that he really is done using. I believed his intentions and statement to be true at the time but I was wrong.
Again, I let my mind talk me out of what I saw to be true. I texted him later and told him not to let his guard down, that many many people are "done" before they die of a heroin overdose. I am nearly positive he was high at that very time.
Looking back, it was more than obvious. One would think I would have a little more skill in the area by now. I am blinded by love. I want to believe him so bad when he says he is clean. I am also blinded by fear.
Where there is life, there is hope but it sure doesn't feel like it right now. Love you.
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