How Do You Know an Addict is Lying?

Apr 23, 2017, 8:59 AM

Sam's addiction to heroin and meth has made me feel violated in so many ways. I don't take his addiction personal (I have learned not to) but he has used these drugs in my own home. How could I not know?

I found Sam's pot three years ago, took it, and threw away his "friend's" bong. (It is NEVER their "friend's" anything, don't believe it for a second.) So, I told him to have his "friend's" mom call me and I would give the bong back to her. Funny thing, she never called.

Remember your teenage years. In what universe did you agree to take your friend's shit home so they wouldn't get in trouble? I am sure it has happened but it would be so rare that I would never fall for that line. He told me later that it was his favorite "Marilyn Monroe" bong. Anyway, I thought it was a phase. Of course I did. Still, how did meth and heroin slip by me?

Sam told me that once I walked out of my bedroom in the middle of the night while he was smoking heroin. I would have thought it would be strong and pungent smelling. I didn't notice anything. I am told it smells sweet, almost like roasting marshmallows. How special. Maybe because I was half asleep, nothing stands out to me about any smells other than weed.

Then there is the meth. Meth, while not as deadly on many levels as heroin, is incredibly creepy. People jacked up on meth are capable of chaos like no other. You don't have to worry that your heroin user is going to freak out and get violent. They become incapacitated Zombies. Their only goal and mission is to find their next high to prevent the sickness. I am not saying they won't lie, cheat, and steal everything they can to feed their addiction, but meth is where the violence comes in.

I never saw that side of Sam, I didn't give it a chance. He has not stayed in my home since the night I found out he was shooting meth. (He was at the time on medication which prevented him from getting high on heroin so he had gone back to meth).

When I think of people who heroin has destroyed, I think of River Phoenix, John Belushi, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (who had 23 years of sobriety before he died when he relapsed on heroin and other drugs). Then, I think of my Sam. My precious son. I just want him to find his way out of this hell he lives in. I just want him to live.

Don't imagine the signs that your kid may be using are going to be written out clearly. Teenagers are fantastic liars and addicts are the very best. Not a good combo. Watch, learn, and be willing to step into this battle if you need to. You have many of us here to support you. We love you, you are not crazy (well, yes you are but you can't help it if your kid may be dealing with addiction), and we are here for you.

Today, I will embrace all the prayers and well wishes you have sent us. Sam is in many many prayer groups now. There is so much power in intention and prayer. You guys, your continued support, messages, likes, hearts, and comments have lifted me more than you know. As Sam continues to fight his battle with addiction, I will continue to fight mine with the insanity of loving an addict.

Thank you for reading. Where there is life, there is hope. Love you. #nomoreshame