Flying High

Apr 7, 2017, 10:27 AM

Sam's treatment plan came together so late last night that I was unable to get us flights to Hazelden until tomorrow morning. We are waiting to hear if he can stay where he is or if we have to pick him up and keep him with us until he and I fly out. If so, we will be up all night keeping watch. No repeats of his trip to treatment last summer, thank you very much.

The night before he flew out to Minnesota last summer for his first stay at Hazelden was busy because we had family visiting from out of town. We could hardly believe that insurance was going to help and that he was going to go to one of the best facilities in the country. He was sleeping at my place. My thoughts were: "We've made it this far, we are not screwing it up now," and I slept on my couch by the door in case he tried to sneak out. (We were living in my very small two bedroom apartment at that time). Sam had other plans in mind.

Determined for "one last high", he crawled out his garden window and walked to the grocery store to steal two bottles of cough syrup. One of which he downed immediately. The other he saved until morning. It wasn't until we were driving to the airport that I realized he was high. In fact, he was very very high. He had no reason to hide what he had done and told me what he had done.

I became nauseous from the mere thought of drinking cough syrup. I cannot even take liquid NyQuil. It grosses me out. Still, I had no choice. This boy was going to rehab as far as I was concerned. No matter what. I was able to walk him all the way to the plane (since he was still a minor). Before he boarded, I told him specifically to get on, sit down, and shut up. I was afraid he was going to get weird and get kicked off before they even got off the ground.

When the plane was finally in the air, I called Hazelden and let them know he was coming in high. They were not surprised, it's very common for people to show up to treatment high. They all want that one last time. The problem is, sometimes that one last time actually becomes their last time because they die.

One of the scariest trends happening with Heroin is the elephant tranquilizer (Carfentanil) that is being added. Carfentanil is the most powerful opioid used commercially. 10,000 times stronger than morphine. It is a version of fentanyl. Dealers cut heroin with it to give it a boost and stretch their supply, therefore increasing their own profit. One dose can kill. Users won't know that their supply is laced. It is a lose lose situation.

This is why I have decided that regardless if Sam chooses to recover, if any information or experience I can pass on helps even one family, it will be worth telling our story. Here is what I will tell any parents who are reading this post:

Do not doubt or question yourself. If you have any inclination whatsoever that your kid or your kid's friend is using anything, you need to take it seriously. Do not assume it is a phase, do not assume that because you tried this drug or that drug and never did it again or got addicted that your kid will be the same. Maybe your kid is like you, maybe they could try it once and walk away. But, they might not even get that opportunity. They may die or fall in love with the drug the very first time. Especially because kids are so reckless by their very nature. And some are oh so cunning as well.

If your kid is compliant and sweet and helpful, this is wonderful but it doesn't protect you. Sam is all those things, which is one reason why it took me a while to figure out he had a drug problem. He wasn't explosive or angry or scary. He was just nice, sweet, lovable Sam. He was chasing his own life down the rabbit hole, we just didn't know it yet.

Follow your gut instinct. If you suspect something, don't sit and give it time and see what happens. Arm yourself with knowledge first and then support if and when you need it. Be grateful if you are wrong. This is the one time in your life that you really really want to be wrong.

It's far better to act and be wrong than do nothing and be right. Thank you for reading.

#nomoreshame